Transcript of Christmas message

A Christmas Message: Celebrating Masculinity

The power of positive masculinity. This is a Christmas message for men and boys who feel that masculinity is under attack.

You may ask, “Is masculinity truly under attack?” Well, consider this: if we are constantly compelled to defend something, explain its validity, or respond to criticisms of it, isn’t that a sign it is being questioned—if not outright attacked? If you’ve repeatedly heard calls for a “better version” of masculinity or claims that the current form is “toxic,” or in need of reform. You might wonder when was the last time you heard masculinity being celebrated for its positive contributions. Indeed, have you ever heard masculinity being celebrated? Let me be clear: masculinity is not the problem, and it’s time to appreciate its value.

There’s No Such Thing as “Toxic Masculinity”

The term “toxic masculinity” has become a convenient shorthand for bad behaviour. But let’s make a distinction: bad men exist, but their actions don’t make masculinity itself inherently bad. Men who behave poorly are not representative of masculinity as a whole. You can talk about tyrants, like Hitler and Stalin, or serial killers as if no woman did any of these things. It’s sad that in talking about masculinity I have to spend a lot of time talking about what masculinity isn’t, a lot of time wasted saying that masculinity is a normal and natural thing and in no way inherently bad. Blaming men does not solve any problem. In fact, it just seems like an excuse to hate men whilst actually doing nothing about the real problem.

This Christmas, let’s move away from blanket generalisations and take a moment to recognise the fundamental good in masculinity and the role it plays in human history and society. You could talk about any number of men such as Spartacus, the slave who revolted, or Martin Luther King who fought bravely for civil rights. Or many more men who fought and protected for what was right.

Masculinity: A Necessary Counterpart to Femininity

Masculinity is not some outdated relic of the past. It is a vital part of human evolution and serves as a complement to femininity. Together, they form a balance—two halves of a whole. Masculinity and femininity are not meant to be identical or interchangeable; they are different by design. As the French say, vive la différence! It is in these differences that strength lies, enabling humanity to thrive and adapt.

For example, men often do the risk-taking, innovation, and physical labor of the human race. Historically, men have been explorers, builders, warriors, and protectors. This doesn’t mean women haven’t contributed in these areas—they certainly have—but men, as a group, have frequently shouldered these burdens for the survival of their families and communities. This complementary dynamic has allowed societies to flourish, ensuring that strengths are shared and responsibilities divided.

• Fathers needed
  • Used to be common

Masculinity and Risk-Taking

Men are often the ones who take risks—both physical and intellectual. Whether it’s embarking on dangerous voyages, inventing groundbreaking technologies, or defending their families and nations in times of crisis, men have frequently stepped into the unknown. History is filled with examples, from the bravery of the men aboard the Titanic who saved women and children whilst being ready to drown. There’s a story on the Titanic that shows how boys are treated early on as being more expendable than girls. A mother and her son who went to get on a lifeboat and was told that he, the 12 year old boy, was a man. His mother threw her shawl around him and said “Now he’s a girl”. He got on the lifeboat. There are many soldiers who have fought for and died for freedom. Ordinary men are soldiers, policemen and firemen. They are the majority who do that to this day.

Men are often at the forefront of science, exploration and defence. Einstein discovered the Theory of Relativity. Scott of the Antarctic attempted to be the first person to the South Pole in 1912. He did reach it but he was the second person there. He died on the return journey. Vice Admiral Nelson famously defeated a larger French and Spanish navy at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 and prevented an invasion of England but died in the battle.

And there’s even Bridger Walker, aged 6, who saved his 3 year old sister from a dog attack. She would have been killed. He defended her and saved her life. He needed 90 stitches. Even at six he felt he had a duty of protection to his younger sister.

They have the burden of being the ones to protect and in the final analysis men can lose their lives because we often protect women and children. 

• You can say others have done the opposite. That is true too, but you cannot dismiss all man as being bad.

Critics might point to instances where men have caused harm, but focusing solely on these examples distorts the broader truth: masculinity has driven progress and safeguarded humanity. It’s not about erasing flaws; it’s about acknowledging contributions.

Evolution and the Role of Masculinity

Masculinity is deeply rooted in our biology and evolution. Across most species, the division into male and female roles ensures survival and genetic diversity. There is a reason for roughly equal numbers of boys and girls. The Fisher Principle, for instance, explains why most sexual species naturally maintain a balance between males and females. If there are more males, more females are born to take advantage of the excess of males and vice versa if they are more females. This equilibrium is vital for reproduction, adaptation, and resilience.

In humans, masculinity has evolved to include traits such as strength, protection, and provision. Imagine a pregnant woman trying to hunt or fight off predators while carrying a child—an almost impossible task. In such scenarios, the masculine role of protector and provider becomes not just helpful but essential to survival of women and children and essential to survival of the species.

Imagine a man and women, a father and mother with their baby. They are confronted by a lion. What should they do? They could both attack the lion but they could be defeated and all three would die. No human or two being a match for a lion. They could both run away with the baby but lions are faster. The mother, she could attack the lion whilst he runs away with the baby. Women are usually smaller and weaker than men so that doesn’t sound like a good plan. Plus babies need breast feeding. Something men don’t do. So the best plan seems to be he attacks the lion and she runs away with the baby. If he dies in the attack then at least the mother and baby, with his genes, live on. He would be mourned for the hero he was. He might just have to distract and evade the lion for a while until she is clear. If he can then get away alive somehow it’s a good day for the human race. 

When we talk about masculinity are we talking about the human race or all species? Often the discussion is as if only men and boys are masculine. There are countless species of which half are masculine. Even in nature, we see countless examples of males taking on protective and nurturing roles. 

Although there are variations. Species that reproduce in a non sexual way or only sometimes reproduce sexually the norm for most of the insects, fish, reptiles, birds and mammals and even plants is sexual reproduction. It is, if you will, the preferred method.

Humans have thrived precisely because of the interplay between masculine and feminine traits. This duality has propelled our species forward, allowing us to adapt and innovate over millennia.

It is not always the norm for males to protect females, just as it is not always the norm to protect the young. Lack of protection of eggs is quite common in fish and insects. The eggs hatch and the young survive or not as the case may be. 

Yet for a lot of species, protecting the young is quite common. In mammals, in particular, this is vital. Mother has to breast feed the young. In some species, say the leopard, mothers will feed and raise the cubs on her own, as she can manage this.

However we are one of the species may always protect the females and this is because women cannot cope for bringing up babies on their own. Imagine if you will a pregnant woman trying to hunt Therefore we’ve been there even the task of doing that for them that they can’t do themselves.

Can we be equal?

Indeed we could be something like the earthworm where all the species are hermaphrodite . They are all both sexes and that does not allow any differentiation. Even though they have both male and female reproductive organs they cannot reproduce by themselves. When they mate they do something akin to the human 69 sexual position. The two worms are laying in the opposite direction. The top part of a worm secretes sperm onto eggs slightly further down  from the head on the other worm. Meanwhile the second worm does the same. That is, in some way, a safe way to go but the earthworm does not seem to have changed for close to 200 million years. Humanity on the other hand is about 200,000 years old and has changed rapidly.

Genetic diversity ensures that if we have useful traits, let’s say long legs, in a species and other in the species have say better eyesight then by sexual selection, choice of useful mates, eventually you end up with individuals that has long legs and better eyesight. And if it’s really good the entire species will go that way.

Masculinity, even in a world of machines and computers, is still vitally important. 

Celebrating Masculinity

It would be ridiculous to think they’re masculinity it somehow negative yet for some reason so prevalent that evolution seems to insist on it as much as possible. All men have mothers and somehow they don’t value their mother’s guidance and love? No,  clearly he is a benefit to a number of species. 

Masculinity does not need a cure. Masculinity is not a flaw to be corrected or a trait to be suppressed—it is a fundamental part of humanity. Like femininity, it has its strengths and weaknesses, but it is undeniably vital. Evolution itself has repeatedly reinforced the importance of masculinity. Traits such as courage, resilience, and the ability to take risks are not accidents—they are qualities that have been selected and refined over time because they benefit the species.

So why are we so quick to criticise masculinity today? Perhaps it’s because we’ve forgotten the value of balance. Masculinity isn’t meant to overshadow femininity, nor is femininity meant to overshadow masculinity. They exist in harmony, each enhancing the other. The Yin-Yang of Chinese philosophy.

A Call to Action

This Christmas, instead of condemning masculinity, let us celebrate it. Let’s acknowledge the fathers, brothers, sons, and husbands who embody strength, courage, and selflessness. Let’s appreciate the men who protect, provide, and innovate—not because they seek praise, but because they understand their role in the greater human story.

Masculinity, at its best, inspires men to serve others, to build and protect, and to strive for something greater than themselves. Whether that purpose is creating a better future for their families or contributing to the advancement of society, it is worth celebrating.

Men like facts, teamwork, rules. Sometimes the facts are unpleasant but we still need them. Te world needs rules. The world needs teamwork. Instead of undermining masculinity it will be good if we celebrated it and supported it.

This Christmas, let’s remember that masculinity, like femininity, is a gift. It’s a part of who we are as a species and a key element of what makes us human. Instead of undermining or criticising it, let us honour it. After all, humanity thrives not by erasing our differences but by embracing and celebrating them.

Now I think we’re all here for a purpose. You are here for a purpose What that purpose is I do not know and you would have to find out for yourself. That purpose is likely to be useful in some way to others or even the entire human race.

Merry Christmas, and here’s to a future where masculinity and femininity are both respected and cherished.

I hope to make this a weekly podcast. I’ll be inviting guests to talk about masculinity, men, boys and what we are, how we got here, and where we go form here. I also will have a membership site where we can freely discuss these issues and I can add some long form videos about aspects of evolution, masculinity and ideology. I also offer coaching. See my blog at malesforum.com. That’s M A L E S F O R U M dot com. 

If you care to send a tip or Christmas bonus go to paypal.me/raymondlondon

Or find it on the blog at malesforum.com. That’s M A L E S F O R U M dot com. 

Thank you and Merry Christmas.